Tuesday, September 6, 2011

"Erzähl mir nichts von Dunkelheit - Don't speak to me of Darkness"

(Click for larger version)

My largest painting to date and it's on canvas! I finished it before I left for Austria but wasn't able to find the time come up with the words describing what it means to me.

Almost everyone I know (including myself) has gone through a period of darkness and depression in their lifes. Before we go through it we sometimes see others who suffer but we don't understand. We can't perceive things the way they do until the dark blue cloud appears above our own heads and we cry for no apparent reason, only take negative things for the truth, only see the bad side of the world, feel helpless, see no point in life, think about suicide and for some of us this is the last stop. A single person in darkness thinks he or she is the only one who feels that way and no one else understands - that his/her darkness is an especially bad one.

Looking back you can see what you've overcome and it may help you if it returns in the future. I think I can say of myself that I can keep a secret. And even if I'm not particularly advised to keep things to myself about someone I still do. I have no need to talk about others much. Friends or even people I've only just met come to me and open themselfes up and tell me about their darkest times. I can see that many have come a similar or worse way than myself and that some are still fighting. Someone once said something like "If I was to throw my problems into a bowl with everyone elses, I'd grab mine back"

I started this painting when someone close to me was going through a very tough time. And I thought: Yes. I know. Even if you think no one knows. I've been there. I love you. I'll help you through.

The ghosts of this stay with you forever. Like past versions of yourself whispering into your ears. I'm listening, but I've heard it all before.

As you can see in the animation above this piece went through a lot of changes :)

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